Every full moon night, I gaze into the waterfall breaking through the mountain outside of my hidden cave and select one lost soul.
Tonight, the hands of destiny choose to fall on you.
Feel them grab you and let yourself be dragged into my realm of darkness.
You are a bright spark, too visible to avoid my gaze.
You have been selected for who you are. Now you must walk with me.
This will be a journey unlike any other you’ve ever taken.
You must be brave now. Take my hand. I’ll guide you on your way.
Inhale, exhale. Deep breaths. That’s it.
You are ready now.
The heavy iron doors screech as the wind pushes them open. Your heart skips a beat.
Notice how the petals on the other side all descend to the ground and lay themselves down there in a lake of ivory in front of you as the nightwind blows them to their final resting place.
The screech of the arabesque doors rattling in the wind shatters the silence that desperately tears at your whole being.
What you tried to leave behind follows us here.
The voice in your head dares you to question your sanity. Ask yourself, “how can beauty and the grotesque coexist in such union?” while you glance at the marble gargoyles standing guard.
Separate this moment from the small town you are used to and hear your own reality fade away with the last of the three chimes of the clock.
One.
Two.
Three.
My calloused hands chafe away the outer layers of your brain.
Feel the pain, it’s not much different from how you remember the gravel-embedded skin on your knees after you fell from your bicycle when you were five.
That way, it is easier for me to enter your mind.
Hear the nightingales that surround you begin their lullaby. Their song shall be with us for this journey.
Would that there were anyone else to listen to this beautiful hymn, but no one is with us. Those aren’t footsteps you hear, it’s just the rustling of withered leaves scattered on the cobbled walk guiding you on your way.
Everyone else has disappeared. Glance at their faces one last time while they slip from your memory.
Wave goodbye to those nights filled with pleasure beneath the streets of the city. A last whiff of the stranger’s kiss before he enters you from behind.
My hooded figure appears and brings you back to me, right where you belong now.
Droplets of sweat escape from your skin, for darkness is falling as even the moon herself hides from the destiny laid out before you.
The voice of the wind takes on a crimson colour. See the notes waltz before you. We must follow them as a wishing star tumbles through the night sky and writes out your name.
My tongue laps at your sweat.
Shiver from the barbs on the flesh caressing your skin, for the tell-tale signs of the excitement caused by both horror and arousal must be caressed.
Open your hand. The ice on my fingers that traces the lines of your future melts into your palm and infuses you with fear.
My mouth is close to yours, inhale my rotten breath. The juice of my last meal still lingers there. Soon, we shall kiss. But not just now, no. You must have patience.
Dare to sigh. It will help you ground yourself again after your thoughts have wandered off to one more allowance I’ll make for you.
I know. You swore to yourself that you’d never spend another minute turning into hours thinking of that moment in your life.
But you can’t hide it from me.
I open the curtain to that scene.
Bathe your naked body in the memory. It is the last glimpse of who you were that I’ll allow.
In my time, you’d have burned for this.
Let those stares dig holes into your back as you walk past your neighbors.
Even decades after your way of love was legalized, people punish you with their hate.
Come with me and I shall set you free.
You’ve lived your life. Now you must let go of your pain and embrace mine.
Push those thoughts to the corner of your mind and we’ll bury them together. Look closely in front of you. Not only bodies are buried here, no. Those just belong to the memories I tore them from.
The gates open before us.
This is where we shall lay them to rest.
No one can find us here, those gazes don’t exist where you’re going.
Feel the temperature drop and let the night wind turn the moisture under your arms to ice.
You must not dwell on previous chapters. They have been written.
I pierce your skin with the feather of a crow and draw blood.
We’ll write your story once more, together.
The moon breaks through the clouds. She watches you like a mother watches over her newborn child.
This isn’t the first time you’ve been on this journey. That’s why this is beginning to feel familiar to you.
It wasn’t just that you wanted to escape those gazes, mostly of men, no.
It is because you’ve felt this pull before. A needle sews a thread into your heartstrings. It tugs at them when it connects you to your final stop.
Follow that thread. I’ll walk by your side.
You need not take those steps alone. Even at the end, you shall not be without a guardian.
Death is always with you, and it is just.
It’s not far now. Come along. Walk through the open gates with me.
The hands of the clock move slowly. We have time to read some of the names and dates on here.
You can’t even trace your family back to this date here, see? Let me show you a glimpse into my past now. See an ivory body clad in a crimson gown that does not match the gender of my facial structure cutting two ropes. This was in 1835.
“James and John.” No last names.
Look into their eyes as they are raised towards heaven and plead with the God who seems to have forsaken them.
Weeds grow out of the earth and reach for their names. I will cut them back once I have brought you to your destination. See the stones themselves almost seem to crumble.
I force you on your knees. Kneel before the grave and kiss it. Do not fear.
Feel the pulse of time slowing down and reversing. Understand why I have so little time to care for my graveyard.
Walk past the mausoleum with me.
That is where we will gather when we rise again.
It is built from the bones of those laid to rest here. Look at yourself once more as your face reflects in it and breathe in the dust that covers it. One day you will be a part of this too..
Electricity makes the hair on your arms come alive. You feel the tug of that string that connects you to where we’ll arrive soon as the mausoleum draws your hair to it.
The song of the nightingales reaches its peak as old earth travels up your nostrils.
The moon is wrapping herself in her bed of clouds.
You must keep breathing until the clock strikes the next hour. Let me pin your eyelids into the bone surrounding them. I am here with you, but you, too, must face this.
Follow with me the scent of rotting roses.
I already prepared a wreath for you decades ago when I first thought I’d have to take you. But you persevered. Your thread was thin, but you wrapped it in a layer of hope.
Give in and let your feet move on their own. My hand is on your shoulders. The pain will fade. I promise.
Take a turn to the left with me. Behind this hedge is where you’ll find your final rest.
The roses shred your skin and lay bare your flesh as we walk through them. This will prepare you for what is to follow.
My claws trace your nipples. Feel my lips on them now.
Like a rampant creature I bite at the left one.
Hush, now. Let me inhale your scream as my lips meet yours.
You’ve almost made it.
I just have to dig deeper inside of that cavity and lay bare your heart.
Feel my embrace as I wrap my cloak around you.
My hands travel to your cheeks and pull you from me. Your face turns to the left, guided by Death. Don’t try to close your eyes, it is futile. You need to accept this pain in order for you to heal.
Let me wipe away the tears that blur your vision so that you can see your name on the marble stone.
The clock chimes as you glance at the words written beneath your name and the date of death.
The nightingales end their song.
Your last breath leaves your lungs as you fall forward into your earthen bed.
Forgiveness. Love. Worth.
I cover you with a blanket of the earth from which you came.
Do not worry, for I will be back when your flesh melts into it. This sleep is not eternal.
I will return for your bones.